Introducing #MealPlanningwithPipay

Late na'ko natulog kagabi ng kakaisip ng mabuting gawin sa current emotional state ko. Syempre, hindi pwedeng forever akong maging depressed. Kailangan kong maging okay kasi may mga anak akong nakadepende sa'kin. Buti na lang na late na din nagising kaming mag-ina, so bawi pa rin ang tulog and at the same time hindi pressured magprepare ng breakfast kasi masarap pa din ang tulog ni bunso. Eight AM na s'yang gumising. Si kuya naman nakisleep over sa grandparents nya.

And speaking of breakfast, that's actually part of why I slept late.

I made a meal plan to keep me organized ng konti and to make sure I serve balance meals to my kids na swak pa rin sa budget.

Nahihirapan din kasi ako minsan mag-isip ng uulamin namin for the day bukod sa isda, which is usually abundant dito sa amin, except lang for these days na umuulan. A meal plan could save me a lot of time and energy thinking what will be prepared for the next meal.

A meal plan can also save me trips to the market and grocery store. Since meron nang nakaplan na meals, this will be my basis on what to buy na for the whole week or until the next marketing day.

Iwas-panis at iwas-umay hack din ito. I get to prepare what is only consumable for us and save the uncooked ingredients for the next meal.

Ang pinakaimportante siguro sa lahat ay dahil sa meal plan, makakahanda na ako ng mas nutritious at balance meals para sa mga anak ko. They are really picky and won't eat vegetabes, mana sa'kin when I was growing up. This is where it gets challenging but I am up for it.

At syempre, kailangan din e-consider ang budget. We have other needs to think about, so it is important to serve meals that are nutritious and delicious but still within our means.

For commitment purposes, I have promised myself to post our meals sa aking Instagram account na pie_ness_.

Nasaan na ba ako ngayon sa buhay ko?

Malapit na akong mag 30 pero sa tingin ko ang bagal-bagal ng pag-usad ng buhay ko. Feeling ko din nag-iisa lang ako kahit may nakakausap naman virtually sa social media at minsan in person. Pero the fact siguro na basically, I live alone with only my 2 young kids, yun yung nagpapa-lonely sakin. Hindi naman talaga literally alone kasi nga I live with my kids, pero I'm the only adult. Wala akong nakakausap every day na adult, unless I visit my mother and sister or they visit me. Tingin ko yun talaga ang kulang, yung connection ko sa ibang tao. Yung desire na may makaintindi sayo at sa mga pinagdadaanan mo. Yun. Wala as of now, pero malapit na din uwi ni hubby, kaya kapit lang. Kahit na nararamdaman ko na parang malayo na din kami sa isa't isa emotionally.

Kulang lang kaya ako sa Vitamin B? Sabi ko bibili ako pero nakalimutan ko na naman. I read on an article kasi na those who lack Vitamin B are easily stressed, anxious and moody--which describes me for the past months.

Marami din siguro factors kung bakit ako nagkakaganito. Isa na yung parang I feel alone, laging walang may mapagsabihan ng problema at ng hirap ng pagpapalaki ng mga anak. At since ako lang mag-isa ang kasama ng mga anak ko sa bahay, less time din yung nagugugol ko sa online work ko. I'm aware that I'm underperforming at nakakababa ng morale yun. Plus din na with less time sa work means less sahod. Dun pa lang naiistress na ako hahaha.

Second is yung business ko. Snackhouse sya. Bonus ko nung December 2016 at sahod ko dyan ko binuhos, tapos may mga nasangla pa ako worth 18,000 na hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa mabayaran. Hindi sya kasi kumikita talaga. Sapat lang para ibayad ko sa mga tao ko yung kita nya, minsan kulang pa. Hindi ko alam kung pano lalaki ang sales namin. Mag eend na din kami sa nirerentahan naming pwesto, at plan ko pagawa na lang dito sa gilid ng bahay namin. Pero kahit yan unpredictable din kung magki-click sya. Pano pag hindi magclick? Eh di madadagdagan lang gastos ko at ilang months or years na naman kaya bago ako makarecover. Take note: may dapat pa akong tubusin na sangla ha.

Pero bakit ako nagdadalawang isip kung ista-stop ko? Una, sayang kasi ang mga gamit na naipundar d'yan. Ikalawa, new location ito at bagong theme, gagawin ko syang garden cafe, baka magclick din. Ikatlo, magseserve din ako ng rice meals so medyo may additional income sya aside from snacks. Fourth, malapit lang sya sa bahay so sa tingin ko kaya ko syang e-manage. At ikalima, umaasa pa rin ako na kahit papano maging successful ako sa venture na'to kasi ever since naman talaga pangarap ko na ang magkaroon ng food business.

Third, nagho-homeschool kami ng mga anak ko. At aminin ko man o hindi, hirap ako, kasi nga parang wala na akong time para d'yan. Kulang lang ba ako sa time management o talagang I have too much on my plate na? Minsan naisip ko pano kaya kung nag enroll na lang sya sa trad school? Mas mabuti kaya 'yun? Pero hindi ko malalaman ang sagot, kaya papanindigan namin ang homeschool. Kung may igigive-up man ako, hindi ito. Ito yata ang pinakaimportante. Kailangan ko lang ng parang game plan pa'no maconquer ang mga mountains na to. Kailangan ko malampasan lahat ng 'to.

First Day of School as a Now-Homeschooling Family

Right after waking up this morning, I immediately talked to Kristoff about the homeschool setup and if he likes to go to trad school where he'll meet his friends and classmates. I was asking a sign from God, an answer to my heavy heart. It felt like my mind was on its own battle to homeschool or not even when I was sleeping.

I asked Kristoff multiple times so that I'd get the true answer, the one that's really from his heart. We couldn't pursue homeschooling when he's not really into it. But he said yes directly and clearly saying he doesn't like going to trad school. Mark and I discussed it again and so we both decided to continue our homeschooling journey.

The books that I ordered from Learning Plus have not arrived yet, so we only made do with what we have.

In the morning, we read the story of The Fox and The Stork from Aesop's Fables and did some crossword puzzle with the new words found on the story. I observed the story reading didn't interest him much because his mind was on the book of bugs we found on our collection. Nevertheless, we continued so that he will get used to it. In the middle of this activity, he mentioned out of the blue that he likes us to make a book. (And a bright idea came up!)

He also practiced reading syllables.

We spent most of the afternoon outside tending the garden. He, Liam and their girl cousin were allowed to help but somehow they busied themselves chasing butterflies, catching grasshoppers, playing with worms and observing a caterpillar (putting it on a nice leaf).

When I saw them enjoying the afternoon and feeding their curiosity, it reaffirmed the feeling that we're on the better choice, for now.

Why We Decided to Homeschool

Tonight I cried because my husband and I and some mom friends from here were thinking that Kristoff would be kawawa because he would be missing his friends and classmates this year. It freaked me out to think that he'd be out of place whenever there are gatherings because he would seem not to belong in the "school" group anymore. And what would be the effect of this on him?

I cried to the Lord for guidance on what's the best decision for this.

I paused and started to write this out to clear my head off. To see if the benefits outweigh the disadvantage. I have to go back to the very reasons why I was determined to homeschool him and why I was able to convince my husband about that many months after.

Here are our top three reasons why. Short and direct to the point.

First off, we'd like Kristoff to study on his own pace. No rush, no pressure, no guilt for not learning as fast as anybody else in the classroom. Our goal is for him to love learning as it is.

Secondly, life is short and we'd like to spend more quality time with our kids. This is especially true with my husband whom we only spend time with for 3-5 months a year. Homeschooling gives us the chance to bond together frequently as a complete family during that short time. We can also travel if we want to without worrying of being absent 'cause we can bring our lessons with us.

Thirdly, Kristoff will have enough sleep and nap time in the afternoon as well as much playtime, which he needs the most.

Regarding the social life, that still bothers me. I heard that the social life of homeschooled kids is vertical (they get to socialize with different age groups) while the ones in trad school is horizontal (they get to socialize only with their age group). I think vertical and horizontal are equally important, I, on the other hand, am not too outgoing. But as I love my kids, I commit to doing my best to provide them with the opportunity to experience both. I don't want them to struggle with what I'm always struggling with.

A Mother's Lessons from Teaching Her Son

They say the best teachers for our kids are us--the parents ourselves. And while I believe this to be true, I believe that we, too, are learners in the process. While we're imparting to them important knowledge and wisdom, they, unknowingly, give us some of life's most valuable lessons as well. That makes our kids the best teachers for us, the parents. :)

Our review/tutoring sessions vary. Before, it was hard, unfocused. Sometimes it's fun and oftentimes, it was not. As time went by, this mother learned her lessons and it became a turning point to her.

Here are some of the things I learned over the time my son and I have our review/tutoring sessions:

1. Patience

Being a teacher is not easy, especially of young kids, and I just feel blessed that Kristoff has had two of the most patient teachers I've known in our locality. Kaya I've made them as my model when I am teaching or reviewing with my son his lessons at home.

I used to be an English teacher of Koreans (both online and in a physical school) and I was very patient (really), but I seemed to be different when teaching my son. I was impatient and easily irritated when he couldn't grasp the lesson. He was feeling pressured and insecure because of how I was acting toward him. So I knew I was wrong. It wasn't helping him and it was straining our relationship.

I introspected and became aware of my feelings. I asked myself why I would force him to understand something that he isn't ready yet? I thought I was afraid for him not to catch up with his classmates and be tagged as "slow." No, no. I didn't want that to happen.

Then I realized that I should respect the learning process and be patient in teaching him. I'm doing this by envisioning myself to be the calm teacher that I have to be. I also made it a clear rule in my mind not to raise my voice when I'm tempted to. It's not that easy at first, but I get used to being the patient teacher that my son needs.

Indeed, patience is a virtue and it's bountiful fruits await in the end.

2. Respect

It's easy to be tempted to impose our wants to our kids, isn't it? After all, parents--or mothers--know best! However, each of our child is "fearfully and wonderfully" made by God that they have their own interests and preferences that make them the beautiful and unique person they are.

I respect my son as a unique person, together with his feelings, his wants, his learning style and all that is him. I see him as a person for what he is and not what he is not.

I'm not bragging here but just want to give a picture of where I was coming from: You see I graduated with high honors since elementary up to college. My husband received high honors in college too, and I would love my sons to follow that. However, that was us, and our kids may be different or they may tread a different path from ours, but still they are the fearfully and wonderfully made people of God--no more, no less. They'll make their own journey and carve their own success! There's no use comparing them to other kids or to ourselves. After all, each of us has something that we're good at and something that we're struggling with.

3. Focus and Consistency

Looking back, I've seen how my preschooler has improved from the cry-baby who didn't know how to do in exams to the confident pupil that he is now who would say his exams was "very easy."

I attribute this to our focus and consistency in teaching the concept to him. Indeed, constant practice makes perfect. He may never get it at first but through time, being consistent in practicing, and helping him focus on the subject is halfway to winning.

It is important that distractions (such as the cousins and the little brother haha) are kept out while we review.

If we want to master something, we focus on that one thing. Just like in life, we can't succeed on a specific area if our attention and energy are scattered and shared with other things. Actually, this is the lesson that I am still struggling on.

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How about you, care to share the lessons you learned from teaching your own kids? I'd love to hear that.

A Day to Bid Farewell to a Beautiful Soul

What would you do when one day you wake up to a news you had never ever expected to hear too soon?

...like the death of someone you love so dearly whom you just have spent some quality time a day ago?

As for me, I wouldn't know how to handle it because it's easy to say to stay calm and strong but you'd never know emotions when you're facing the real thing. I faced four deaths of my loved ones and I faced them differently which I think depended on my age when they happened and the cause of their deaths.

The reason of this serious topic is that today, we woke up with a sad news. A woman who was deeply loved and known by many was taken from us. She was full of life and she's the least that I expect to be gone too soon. So many are grieving for her passing and it's enough for anyone to say she is dearly loved by a lot of people. And she is loved because she had touched these people's lives in some way, including mine.

When you're from here, it's hard not to know her. I was with her several years ago as a volunteer nurse and in some instances when my kids were sick and needed to be confined in the hospital. She was there, the nurse.

So right here in my little nook, I'm grieving. Grieving for the passing of someone whom I know was full of vigor and enthusiasm in everything. She might had been mouthy at times but that was part of being her--mouthy, loving, caring, helpful and full of life--packaged as one awesome Tita Su. You might had not like her the first instant you meet, but you had to read through her or be with her most of the time and you'd discover you're spending time with one of the most wonderful woman and mother on earth.

I'm also grieving for the people who, now and for the rest of their lives, feel that a great part of their hearts has been emptied from her passing.

It's easy to say strong and to look at the brighter side of things, but it is never easy to do.

Perhaps the most that I can do for now is pray for the family to get through this hard time. Some whys may not be answered, but somehow hearts can heal in due time. Well, after all we'll be meeting her and all our lost loved ones someday.

Mommy Reborn

It's 10 days after the New Year but here I am going a bit away from my top 3 goals for 2017. I won't be spilling those top 3 goals because I don't want it to be jinxed. Haha! But yes, creating a brand-new blog is not one of them, so the other half of me is scolding the other half now that I'm spending again my energy to something that is not what I am aiming for this year.

Well, I continue to say to myself that if I want to succeed, I should be focusing on that 3 main goals. I repeat, three only! Because one cannot do all things at once, so if I want to achieve the top three, then all efforts must be geared on achieving those three and nothing else.

But what can I do? I'm kind of inspired now and want to start a whole new blog. So I must forgive myself and savor the moment of being just me writing my first post while talking to myself, which might be weird but totally therapeutic.

I'm creating a special nook again, a breathing space for me to let go and let out. So let me officially welcome you to Mommy Reborn!

Mommy Reborn symbolizes an improved and empowered me this year, and this blog will be the home of all things that will accompany me along in this new chapter of my life as a mother and more.

Pico Sands Hotel, Nasugbu, Batangas